


Inside Voices

by willowwand



Series: Little Bludger Series [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, HP: EWE, Post Hogwarts AU, Written Pre-Deathly Hallows
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-30
Updated: 2016-05-30
Packaged: 2018-07-11 02:16:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7022497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/willowwand/pseuds/willowwand
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ron and Hermione bicker over how to best tell their son they are expecting a new addition to their family. </p>
<p>First published at the now-defunct R/Hr (Romione) site Checkmated on September 1, 2006. <br/>Written pre-Deathly Hallows, therefore it only follows canon through Half-Blood Prince.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Inside Voices

“I say we just tell him. He’s going to be thrilled,” Ron said.

 

He and Hermione were sitting in the kitchen of their cottage having a “family meeting”. Recently they had found out that there was going to be a new addition to their family and they were discussing the best way to tell their son, Edward, that he was going to become a brother. Ron had pointed out that they couldn’t possibly have a family meeting without all members, namely Edward, present.  Hermione merely glared at him, and he busied himself with making a pot of tea.

 

“He’s going to be upset,” she said. “He’s always been the baby. How is he going to handle someone else taking away the attention he’s enjoyed for so long?”

 

 “He’ll be glad to have someone to play with. The closest thing Eddie has to a playmate is Crookshanks, and he isn’t fit to play around with a little boy,” Ron replied.  “Now if he…”

 

“Don’t say it Ron,” she warned, her eyes narrowing.

 

“What?”

 

“We are _not_ getting Edward a Crup.”

 

“Why not, Hermione?”

 

“What if it bites Edward? He can play a little rough at times.”

 

“Like father like son, eh, Hermione?” he said, waggling his eyebrows.

 

“Ron…” Hermione warned, though a hint of a smile was threatening to break her stern expression.

 

“Fine,” he chuckled. “So how do _you_ suggest we tell him?”

 

Hermione drummed her fingers on the kitchen table. “We need to explain to him how wonderful it’ll be to have a brother or sister.”

 

“You’re only saying that because you don’t have any brothers and sisters,” Ron said darkly.

 

She rolled her eyes. “We have to let him know that we love him no matter what and that no baby could ever take his place.”

 

“He’s three. There’s no way he’s going to understand that,” he argued.

 

“He’s very bright for his age. We’ll tell him how he’s going to have to act like a big boy now and learn big boy things like being responsible and sharing…”

 

“There’s an idea,” Ron said. “Just tell him that the baby’s going to take all his toys. He’ll be so enthusiastic for a brother or sister then.”

 

Hermione scowled.

 

“Let’s just get him in here,” Ron sighed. “We’ll figure it out as we go along.”

 

She opened her mouth in challenge, but Ron was too quick for her. “Oi, Eddie!  Come here for a second.”

 

“Honestly, Ron! Do you always have to shout?”

 

He chuckled. “Do you always have to nag?”

 

Ron was saved from a scathing reply by the patter of little footsteps on the hardwood floor.

 

Edward’s little face peered around the corner, his blue eyes wide and curious. The little grin slid off his face at Hermione’s expression.  “Mummy angry?”

 

“No, love,” she said. “Come here.”

 

He cautiously made his way toward his parents, apparently still unsure whether he was in trouble.  Ron grabbed his son, once he was within reaching distance, and swung him through the air and put him on his shoulders. Edward let out a great shriek of laughter just as Ron yelped in disgust.

 

“You’re wet,” Ron said, wrinkling his nose as he pulled Edward off him and held him out at arms length.

 

“Eddie, did you have an accident?” Hermione asked.

 

“No, Norbert,” the toddler said, referring to his favorite stuffed dragon.

 

“Norbert had an accident?” Hermione said, nonplussed.

 

“Where _is_ Norbert?” Ron said.

 

“He taking a bath,” Edward grinned.

 

“A bath,” Hermione gasped.

 

Her face paled, and she ran out of the room.

 

“What did you do, mate?” Ron said as he shifted Edward under his arm and followed Hermione to the back of the house.

 

Edward merely grinned up at his father.

 

“Oh, Edward,” Hermione cried from the bathroom.

 

Ron hurried to join his wife. He found Hermione lifting Edward’s sodden green dragon out of the bathtub.  Water and fluffy blue bubbles slopped over the edge of the bathtub and the air was thick with the citrus smell of Hermione’s favorite bubble bath.  Ron bit his lip to keep from laughing.

 

“Eddie,” she said, exasperatedly. “You can’t put Norbert in the bathtub.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because… Dragons don’t take baths.”

 

Edward looked to Ron for confirmation. 

 

“Mum’s right,” Ron said with a grin. “Mum’s _always_ right.”

 

Hermione raised an eyebrow at her husband. “So no more baths for Norbert, okay?”

 

She pulled out her wand and siphoned the water out of the toy, then used another spell to blow it dry.

 

“Here,” she said, holding it out to Eddie. 

 

The toddler grabbed Norbert and held it tightly.

 

“Daddy,” he said.

 

“Yes,” Ron said, setting the little boy down on the floor.

 

“I a dragon,” he said with an unmistakable twinkle in his eye.

 

Ron laughed. “You’re a dragon?”

 

“Oh no,” Hermione said, scowling at them with her hands on her hips. “You aren’t a dragon.”

 

“ _Roar_ ,” Edward growled.

 

“You _are not_ a dragon, Edward,” she said. “You have to take baths.”

 

“I don’t want to,” the little boy whined.

 

“You don’t have to right now, but tonight before bed you will.”

 

Edward’s face began to turn red, beginning with his ears and spreading across his pudgy cheeks. Just as he began to screw up his face in preparation for a tantrum, Ron lifted him into his arms.

 

“Come on, Little Bludger,” Ron said. “Let’s go get a biscuit.”

 

“Ron, don’t reward him.”

 

“I’m not,” he replied. “I’m hungry. You hungry too, mate?”

 

Edward nodded.

 

“See.”

 

Hermione scowled.

 

“Come on, Mummy,” Ron pleaded. “Have a biscuit with your favorite blokes.”

 

“But the water, Ron,” she protested.

 

“I’ll clean it up a bit later. Come on, love.”

 

She sighed. “Oh, all right.”

 

Edward held out his arms to Hermione and she took him from Ron’s embrace and carried him to the kitchen. She set him down into a chair at the table while Ron got a bag of chocolate biscuits from the larder.

 

“Here, mate,” Ron said, placing a biscuit on the table in front of Edward before stuffing two more of them into his own mouth.

 

“Now,” Hermione said, giving Ron a significant look. “Daddy and I have something to discuss with you.”

 

Edward wasn’t paying much attention, as he was happily munching on his biscuit.

 

“Edward, listen to Mummy,” Ron said in a stern voice.

 

The toddler finally lifted his eyes look at his mother, his lips curling into a chocolate covered grin. 

 

“Eddie, we’re going to have a change in our family,” Hermione said. “It’s going to be a big change, but you shouldn’t worry, because we’ll always love you and nothing will ever change that. Of course, babies take a lot of time and energy and you’ll have to be a lot more responsible: picking up your toys, reading quietly and…”

 

She cut off her speech at the blank expressions on both Ron and Edward’s faces.

 

“Hermione, he’s three!” Ron exclaimed. He placed another biscuit in front of Edward; Hermione frowned. “Listen, mate, your mummy is going to have a baby, so that means you’re going to have a little brother or sister to play with.”

 

“A brother like Fed and Goge?”

 

“No,” Ron said abruptly through a mouthful of biscuit.

 

Hermione raised her eyebrow questioningly at Ron.

 

“I-I mean, you might get a sister like your Auntie Ginny,” he said. “Then you get to take care of her… and when she gets older you can make sure all the blokes keep their greasy mitts off her.”  


“Ron,” Hermione protested.

 

“But I want a brother,” Eddie whined.

 

“You don’t get to choose, love,” Ron said, ruffling the curls atop his son’s head.  “But either way, you’ll have someone to play Quidditch with and to protect. You’ll be a good big brother.”

 

“Like Fed and Goge?”

 

“Yes, like Fred and George,” Hermione said.

 

“But not gits like them,” Ron said under his breath.

 

“Ron,” she hissed.

 

“Daddy a big brother, too?”

 

“Yes, Daddy’s big brother to Auntie Ginny,” Hermione answered.

 

“Uncle Harry a big brother, too?”

 

“No,” Ron replied. “Uncle Harry and Mummy both don’t have any brothers or sisters.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Er, I don’t know,” Ron said. “But _you’re_ going to get one.”

 

“Oh,” Edward replied. “Can I have more biscuits?”

 

“No more biscuits,” Hermione said. She wet a napkin with water from the tip of her wand, and Edward grimaced as she scrubbed vigorously at the chocolate covering his face and hands.  She lifted him out of his chair and set him on the ground.

 

“You’re getting too heavy for Mummy,” she sighed.

 

Ron frowned. “Maybe you shouldn’t be carrying him at all. I mean, with the baby and all. You could injure yourself.”

 

Hermione rolled her eyes. “Not this again. I’ve told you a million times that being pregnant does not make me an invalid.”

 

“Maybe not an invalid,” he said. “But you should take care of yourself, love.”

 

“I take better care of myself than you do,” she replied. “How many biscuits did you just eat?”

 

“Mummy,” Edward said, trying to get her attention.

 

“Well, I’m not the one having a baby,” Ron argued.

 

“Oh, so it’s perfectly all right for you to do whatever you want, but I can’t just because I’m pregnant?”

 

“ _Mummy_.”

 

“You could hurt yourself, or the baby.”

 

“ _Mummy_!”

 

“You know I would never do anything to hurt the baby.”

 

“MUMMY!”

 

Ron and Hermione started and turned to see their son watching them from the doorway of the kitchen.

 

“Inside voices,” the little boy admonished before leaving the room dragging Norbert behind him.


End file.
